Wednesday, July 08, 2015

My Lesson this Ramadaan - Acceptance

Post my recent article on people betraying trust.

I embarked on a soul searching expedition. Ramadan comes as a blessing to us, and this Ramadan taught me a vital life lesson, it helped me uncover a secret to life and helped me realign who I am as a person. 

No one promised life would be easy, and we won’t get a second chance at it. So if we allow negatives to creep in, and derail ones happiness, then we only have ourselves to blame. For most of us, accepting certain curve balls life throws at us, it somewhat hard. We start questioning “why me?” or “what did I do to deserve this?” 

The sooner we reach a point of acceptance the better it is for oneself. We cannot change anyone, their actions, their behaviour etc. however we can change how we react to them. It’s about protecting your own balance and sanctity of mind. How you deal with situations and people is within your control. I always have an issue with acceptance, I want to scream out when certain issues come to the fold. “Why, Why, Why?” I get angry when people you least expect breach trust and go all out to be nasty, unwarranted.

Intellectually I understand that we cannot control life's situations or others, I can only control my reaction and my own actions. By making these two choices, I can control what the impact that person or a situation will have on me. I know it sounds simple. Probably too simplistic but I think that true power comes from controlling ourselves. When you start fighting this truth, one ends up stressing unnecessarily, there’s added drama, and you only end up affecting your own well-being. 

I have come to the realisation that every time I fought acceptance when a stressful situation or toxic people presented itself, I turned into a person I did not like. I crumbled to pieces. 

Until I embraced Acceptance, through prayerful surrender, I was spinning in this whirlwind of turmoil. I am now at a point of Peace, Contentment and Satisfaction that heals all wounds. I had to open a Pandora’s Box in order to discover this secret. The secret is to embrace acceptance.

Acceptance doesn't mean giving up, not being your best, not wanting to fight for yourself. Acceptance means you are aware of the situation or the person, you cannot control it or them, but you can control yourself. Remove yourself if you have too so that you are not caught up in the fog of unhappiness. If you cannot accept someone for who they are then your only recourse is to eliminate that person from your life,

If you do not like a certain situation, detach yourself from it. Part of acceptance is living in the present, letting go of the past. There is no need to rehash a situation and give it so much power over you. Leave the past where it belongs. If you have toxic and “not so nice people around you” you have a choice on where to tell them to get off the bus. Don’t let this person grow into a mythical monster of huge proportions.

I also realised I was beating myself up for being too trusting. I learned a lot from this situation but I don't attach judgement to it. 

Looking in the rear-view mirror only wastes my energy. 

My present moment, how I go forward from this point now is what’s real.