Friday, May 08, 2015

My Basic Rights

Every one of us has rights. We just forget to enforce it. All human beings deserve to be treated well and we tend forget that every person has the same rights you do. Some people feel they have permission to explode when they feel threatened or unhappy. Every day we see actions which normalises infringement of each other’s basic rights. We don’t realise it but it’s there, from TV to the internet, social media, whilst we are shopping, at the movies. Hence society is where it is today. We have become a bunch of inconsiderate, self-centered human beings. We reflect this is our daily lives. We ask, why people are going crazy, from road rage to plots of murder. We simply don’t respect each other, each other rights, each other’s boundaries, personal space, heck maybe we don’t even respect ourselves, that’s why we cannot treat another human being any different.
Which brings me to my rights in close, personal relationship/s. Often we allow people into our lives who treat us in an inferior manner.  We forego what we normally would never put up with. If we are willing to tolerate negative treatment from those closest to us what does that interpret to when we are interacting with people outside that circle?
Are we harsher with Joe Soap down the road, than we are with a close person?
Do we “take out our frustration” on Joe because he infringed on your right, because the one closest to you is actually the culprit who did not honour your right?
Should infringement of rights apply to everyone and more so to those who share your life.
I have a few basic rights of my own, which is imprinted it in my brain yet I have allowed people to disregard them and upset the balance of who I am.
  • I have the right to be treated well by all people, at all times. No ifs or Buts. I don’t care if you having a bad hair day or if we are having a disagreement, or your temper is running a fever; treat me right. Do not yell at me, do not call me names or do not become intimidating, threatening or bullying under any circumstances.
  • I have the right to ask for what I need and want in a relationship, whether you are my brother, sister or child. It’s not being a demanding brat, but in life you have to be clear about what you want and need, it’s part of being a healthy human being.
  • I have the right to expect those closest to me to be accountable for their actions.
  • The biggest hogwash I was taught was “love is never having to say you’re sorry”. Please! If you hurt me, by actions or words, then I expect an apology. If you do this to a colleague or stranger, you would apologise – SO WHY am I different. You have damaged a part of me and you need to repair it.
  • I have the right to expect that those closest to me will be honest with me—even if that means I get hurt. Khaled Hosseini — 'But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie
  • I have the right to my opinions, thoughts, fears, use of words etc. Do not dismiss or minimise me.
  • I have the right to personal space.
  • I have the right to expect that those in my inner circle (close friends, spouse, close family members, etc.) will treat me best and be the safest people in my life.
  • I have a right to have feelings and share experiences without feeling they are stupid or over the top.
  • I have the right to be right….and wrong.
  • I have the right to remain silent
  • I have the right to live free from accusation, blame, obligation or guilt.
  • I have the right to live free from judgment. Please do not put yourself in a Godlike position and judge me. No one has that kind of power over me except God alone.
  • I have the right to be asked rather than ordered.
  • I have the right to walk in this world as an equal and to be treated as such by all people regardless of fame, position, money or status. Do not allow someone else’s arrogance to result in your shrinking. I own my place in this world.

I hold myself and others to that same entitlement. I have internalized these rights and recently find myself referring back to when something doesn't feel right, or I feel someone is not respecting me. Each one of us is responsible for how another treats you. There comes a point when you just get fed up with people disrespecting you. It’s only when you put your rights down on the table, will you be able to claim full dominion over your life. It’s such a small requirement to ask people to respect your basic right. If they cannot fulfil this simple request to treat you with respect, then they need to recognise I have the power to not allow disrespectful people to occupy space in my life.
As long as you accept disrespectful people in your life, you are taking full responsibility for their treatment of you. It’s not their fault—it’s your fault. Each one of us need to appreciate and value ourselves more, this will surely resonate. And if it doesn’t love yourself enough to get rid of the people in your life who are not good for you.

Peace, Love and Hope!